Gentle Soul Wellness LLC

What is Grace?

Hi! It’s been awhile..I’m sure all 3 of you missed me (Hi mom)…haha! Anyway, things have finally got back to semi-normal around our house. Zack never really stopped working. I finally am back to school, although we are 100% virtual for now; it’s nice to have a routine again.

Being a teacher during this time is a wild ride. Things change at the drop of a hat, so lesson plans and schedules are constantly rewritten and thrown away. I’m not lying when I say I cried every night the first week of school. It’s hard. It’s stressful. And that leads me right into the topic for this post: grace.

I have seen so many posts on Instagram and Facebook about giving teachers grace during this time, and it drives me nuts! I was telling Zack about it and he said, “Why is that a bad thing to say?” I asked him how he defines grace and his answer was, “I don’t really know how to put it into words.” I explained my definition and he was quiet. He said, “I have never thought of it that way. That’s pretty cool.”

I was kind of befuddled because I had never really given much thought to how someone else might define grace. So me being me looks up grace in Merriam-Webster. It’s defined as “a special favor.”

Y’all, GRACE IS SO MUCH MORE.

So let me take you back to one of my favorite chapels at Hannibal-LaGrange University with Dr. Tom Hufty. He was a professor, among many other things, at HLG (and I will forever wish that I could have had the opportunity to be his student), but left to pastor a church in Illinois. For this particular message, Dr. Hufty shared one of his most powerful lessons he taught to one of his youth ministry classes. He explained to us that his class was having a hard time truly understanding grace. For their final exam, Dr. Hufty allowed a few minutes in class to review. He said that he started spewing out facts to the students that were only mentioned in the book. I can remember him saying he could see panic starting to set in with some of the students (I started sweating from sympathy anxiety). He then said that he passed out the tests, face down, to each student. He instructed them not to turn over the test until he said they could begin.

Now guys, here is where the goosebumps strike. Dr. Hufty told us that he had filled out every single answer for each of the students. He had even written their names on the test. He told us that he looked at his class and asked: how many of them felt they were prepared after the review? How many of them did anything to deserve all of the answers? Dr. Hufty told the students that they would all be receiving an “A” on their final, and that they had all just experienced grace. They did nothing to deserve the answers. The preparation they did not help them in their final grade. It was given to them. That is grace.

Grace is not just a special favor. It’s being given something you did nothing to deserve. It’s being knocked on your butt by how powerful someone’s love is for you. Grace is Jesus. He hung on that cross for everyone on this planet. He bled, knowing that we are sinners and so unworthy of such perfect love. Forgiveness should not touch us. But He gave, and continues to give it to us anyway. Grace.

Grace is a big deal to me. It’s a very special thing. It’s not easy. It’s heavy. And at it’s roots, grace is the most beautiful act. But here’s the thing, you can’t give grace if someone deserves some leeway. I’m a teacher. I know we are all out here working our tails off to make this year the best we can for our students (virtually, in person, and hybrid). We DESERVE some love, patience, and kindness, just as your students do, because not a single one of us signed up for this.

The COVID Teacher Train Wreck

You know that I’m a teacher. You also know that the world is turned upside down with COVID, and the Black Lives Matter movement. What you don’t know is what all of this is doing to the state of public education. Frankly, I don’t think I know the full extent of the impact the state of our world is going to have on my career.

So here it is: the inside scoop of what it feels like to be an educator in America as of 2020. I’m not trying to offend anyone, nor am I saying that what I write here is how every educator feels. I just know that there are a lot of people weighing in on education, and a majority of those people have never been in a classroom.

I want to start with the fact that I acknowledge that there are some horrible people in the world. People who think they are immune to viruses, and ignorant to the fact that they are spreading it to those of us who can’t fend it off. People who think that your skin color means you get treated differently. People who aren’t doing their jobs to be good humans. And I don’t side with any of these people.

Now, you know where I stand. But here’s the thing, I need you to know that where I stand and how I feel both have very big emotions. My heart is absolutely broken for the people who have lost some one to COVID, and for those who can’t see their loved ones because of COVID. And it makes me absolutely sick to think that there are people in this world who think it is okay to call someone names because of their skin color or ethnicity. Or mistreat someone because you think it’s funny. Absolutely disgusting.

I’m not sure I can explain to you the absolute fear I feel in returning to school. I’m not scared for my own life, but rather every single person around me. I don’t want to spread this virus to my students, because there are so many of them with underlying medical issues – some not even addressed. I don’t want my students to carry the virus to my co-workers, because my work family also is fragile. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my co-workers who have medical problems since COVID canceled school in March. I constantly think: “How are they doing?” “How can they come back? They already have so much to deal with.” Then there’s my family. If we are back to in-person learning, I won’t be able to hug my mom, dad, or grandpa indefinitely. See my grandpa has had heart surgery and lives with my parents. My dad takes medicine that weakens his immune system. My mom lives with both of them. I can’t, and I won’t, be the one that brings this virus to them. But, ya’ll, it breaks my heart to know I won’t be able to hug my momma, or get too close to her. And I know that a majority of my co-workers are in the same boat.

Now this part will be messy. I will probably offend some of you, not purposely. You may not agree with me. And that is okay. Just try and see my side. As I said previously, it disgusts me to see racism happen. It’s barbaric. But there are some things that the BLM movement has caused to happen that I can’t really get on board with. I’m not a violent person, so the protests and the demolishing of statues confuses me. I get that some people want to go out and literally make their voices heard. More power to them! I’m just not that person. What I question is the demolishing of statues, the public degradation of police, and the shaming of white people. Don’t write me off here. Look at this from the perspective of an educator. The little eyes of the world are seeing all of this unfold and trying to make sense of it. They see that if they don’t like something, they can destroy it. Their minds see that just because some police officers have made horrible decisions, that means all of them are bad. If they are bad, then calling them names and hurting them is justified. Guys, this is the exact opposite of what every single teacher I have ever met instils in their students.

Then there’s white privilege. I don’t really know how I feel about that term. I think there is privilege, but I’m not sure if it is based on skin color. But that’s not what this post is about. As a white educator in a diverse school, I’m VERY concerned about what this is going to mean when we return to school. I do everything I can to help my students feel that they are heard, loved, and that they belong. Despite my efforts, I have already experienced being called racist when I follow through with discipline ( that I promise you had nothing to do with skin color ). This was prior to the current BLM movement. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying the the BLM movement is bad. I think that we can agree that the movement has caused some tension between the white and black community. And for this, I’m afraid. I’m not afraid of my diversified environment, I’m afraid that there are families, and educators who are constantly going to be on edge. I’m afraid that some people have lost sight of the fact that the whole purpose of the BLM movement is to make everyone truly equal. I’m afraid that these people will only see white or a black skin when things start to get tough. And I’m afraid that this will lead to accusations that are untrue. I’m afraid of holding everyone to the same standard, because apparently that is no longer okay. I’m afraid of our nation’s history being erased (whether or not we agree on how things were handled, it’s still history), because if you are ignorant to the past, it is doomed to repeat itself. I’m afraid that now we will have an even larger shortage of educators.

This was long winded, and I’m not even sure it makes sense, but someone needed to say it. It’s a scary time to be a teacher right now. So as you listen to the media push for return to school and equality/reform in education, just remember us teachers. Remember that we are also people. That we have families. That we are scared.

*If you know an educator, please check on them. We have a lot on our plates, and you have no idea how much it means to hear someone say “I’m here for you, let me listen”*

What’s Your Occupation?

The first question people usually ask me: “so what do you do?” It’s an effort to get to know who someone is, what they’re about, how their life works. Nothing wrong there! Here’s the thing, what if we change the way we answer this question? Maybe not literally, but mentally.

Hear me out. I think our society is focused on outward appearance of everything. Generally, we tend to gauge a person’s success on their bank account, their beauty on their appearance, and we have this imaginary timeline that everyone is supposed to follow (college, marriage, babies). Now, do I agree with this? No! But the bottom line is, society does not have the same view as I do. So how do we change that? By answering that question of “So what do you do?” in a new way, and we answer it daily. Stay with me here.

I’m not saying change your job, I’m saying you have more than one. Duh, you can be a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling. Right, those are all jobs, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have your occupation in which you make a living, and you have your job as a human. Now here’s the answer I’m talking about. The meat and potatoes of life, if you will:

“What is your job? To be a good human.”
_{Marcus Aurelius}*

That’s it. That’s your job. That’s our job. It doesn’t matter who you are, your religion, your skin color, your circumstances, your political views. Your bank account doesn’t change the answer. Your occupation doesn’t change the answer. Your marital status or amount of children you’ve birthed doesn’t change the answer. Your number of followers or perceived outward appearance doesn’t change the answer. Every single person’s job is the same.

And y’all, we need a job evaluation right now.

What happens when we ask ourselves that question every morning? What happens when we reflect on that question every night? Did I do my job today? Was I a good human? THINK. ABOUT. THAT. Y’all REALLY think about that. Our world would be a different place.

I’ve been quiet about everything going on. Social media is really a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. This is my heart, right here. And I’m going to leave you with this. In high school volleyball we would get ourselves all hyped up in a huddle before the game, and we would usually end with this obnoxious rhyme: “KA (kick ass) all the way, let’s go Hawks!” So, do your damn job. And kick ass at it.

_{*Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor, a Stoic philosopher, and frankly a very intelligent man.}

Kentucky

What seems like years ago (really just a month or so), Zack and I made a little getaway to Taylorsville, Kentucky. Neither of us had ever been, and we made a great decision going!

Taylorsville is sort of part of the Bourbon Trail, sort of not. There are no actual distilleries in Taylorsville, but there are a ton in the surrounding towns. Let’s be clear, when we take trips we want to avoid masses of people. So, we were very happy with Taylorsville because it is a super small lake town. I’m talking one traffic light and a grocery store.

It was MAGNIFICENT. We rented a cottage on VRBO (Seabiscut Cottage) and it was perfect! It was in Edgewater Resort, which is a gated community that overlooks the lake. I could only count 5 houses in the neighborhood, but we never went over the hill that was on our street. The cottage had 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, full size kitchen, living room, and (drum roll please) a hot tub on the back deck! Below is a picture from the deck so you can get a grasp of how perfect this was. The resort has a community pool, but it was tad too chilly (and it wasn’t open for the season).

Deck view
master bedroom view
dinner by the fire
moonrise
sunset
coincidentally, this is when COVID-19 began to outbreak in the US…

We explored several spots, and we were never disappointed. The first morning we ventured out to find some coffee, and we were pleasantly surprised with the gem we found. The Tea Cup is what I want every coffee shop to be. Owned by a hometown couple. Homemade breakfast foods, pastries, and lunches. Handcrafted drinks. Southern charm. The owner made our drinks and then came to our table and talked to us for about 15 minutes. He asked what brought us to town, what we did, and how life was (this is why my heart is in the south). He then brought us a the warm, delicious cinnamon rolls we ordered. It was wonderful!

We ended up at two different distilleries. Jeptha Creed and Bardstown Bourbon Company. We didn’t do any tours, but just enjoyed drinks and company. If you want a relaxed experience, Jeptha Creed is your place. It feels as though you’re inside of a renovated barn with a lot of rustic decor. The menu is much like what you would find at a brewery (apps, burgers, sandwiches, etc.).

If you are wanting more of an “adults only” experience, I would recommend Bardstown Bourbon Company. When we walked in, we felt a little out of place in our button down shirts and jeans. It is a very instagram worthy building, with modern decor and industrial style decor. The menu is a bit pricy, but the food was pretty good. The bourbon is EXPENSIVE. But it is a cool experience because there are 6 other buildings surrounding the restaurant that look like hotels. Those buildings are where they age all of their bourbon/whisky! It was crazy!!!

Our last adventure (besides the outlet mall) was to Chuckleberry Farm & Winery. This was, hands down, my favorite place. To get there, you will feel like your GPS is leading you astray. I’m talking 1 lane gravel road. But this is a working farm! The tasting room is a tiny two-room building. Zack and I were very hesitant when we pulled up, but it was so worth it! For less than $10 (I can’t actually remember the price) a person you get to sample all of their current wines (this was about 10), their wine slush, and their wine cheese and chocolate. The staff (all two of them)…so friendly! We talked the entire time we were there. If you don’t like sweet wines, this probably isn’t the place for you. I’m disappointed that I don’t have any pictures!

All of the websites are underlined and linked, including the cottage we stayed in! If you need a long weekend, this is your place!!

Once Upon a Time, Quarantine Made Us Better

First of all, this is not a post about how you need to social distance. It is not a post about washing your hands. And it is definitely NOT a post about how we don’t need to worry about COVID-19.

This is a post about the huge, hidden present we are all receiving.

Don’t get me wrong, this whole quarantine/social distancing thing is bizarre and a little bit scary. The world seems very small right now. But let’s think about this. Really think about it.

Most of us are no longer following our normal schedules: no more gyms, no more parties, no more school. The grocery stores are like a war zone, and we aren’t really supposed to be there anyway. We are spending a lot more time at home (which is why Zack and I now have an imaginary roommate named Karen to blame things on).

As a result of all of the closures, people are becoming better humans. Gyms/fitness instructors are offering free at-home workouts, and often live-streaming them. Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime are booming. It’s funny how you miss the simplicity of seeing familiar faces and being able to say “hi!” to your coworkers every morning. I can’t tell you the number of web- resources and teachers who have stepped up to help parents with homeschooling. All at NO COST.

As you know, I am a teacher. Our administrator has been emailing us every morning, just as she normally would, but now it’s just to check in and keep us updated. She suggested we set up Zoom calls or a Facebook page to stay connected with each other, and I think we might read a book together as a staff.

THESE ARE THE PRESENTS, GUYS!!!

Have you ever seen a time when people give so freely? Free homeschool materials. Free workouts. Free virtual tours of zoos, Disney, and museums. Free live-streamed concerts, plays, operas. Guys, my staff would never have done a book club if we weren’t on quarantine because we didn’t have time. We are all in the same boat right now, and the goodness of humans is being exploited. (Minus Karen. If she leaves her dishes on the table one more time, damnit she’s getting kicked out).

Every single person on earth has been given the same set of presents right now. The opportunity of time, kindness, and solidarity. Italy is hurting, but their people are singing together from their homes. The US is out of school, but we are equipping our kiddos with everything we can.

I’ve heard, more times than I can count, that these are unprecedented times. So, let’s make this new adventure one that defines us as humans. The time that we all got better.

*Disclaimer, I am not trying to make light of this situation. I know that it is very serious. I am just trying to find the positive because I know a lot of people are having trouble doing so.*

Yes, I’m a (PE) Teacher.

I’m not a recess supervisor.

I am not a babysitter during your prep time.

I’m not support staff.

I have a degree in education.

I also have a master’s in education.

The gym is my classroom.

I am not responsible for running your students because they are out of control. Frankly, it’s insulting when you ask me to do so. My class is exactly that; a class. Learning takes place. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It may just look a little bit different than you are used to.

Your students need to learn about the food chain and life cycle? Bring them to PE. The students will become animals searching for food. They will experience running from a predator (tagger) who is also in search of food. They will learn that when an animal dies, it helps the entire ecosystem to thrive.

You don’t know what physical literacy is? Your students do, because they learned it from me. They can tell you that they learn vocabulary words during PE, and they can use those words in a sentence when talking about PE. And that, is physical literacy.

To say I’m not really a teacher is a false statement.

To say my class is not important is hurtful.

These words may have never passed your lips, but let me remind you that actions speak louder than words.

When you keep students from my class because they haven’t finished their work, you are telling me and your student that my class is not important.

When you tell your students it is time for gym, you discredit me and the education I am providing each of your kiddos.

My job is not harder than yours, nor yours harder than mine. We are equals. Coworkers. We both want to shape the minds of the future. More importantly, we both want to be a consistent figure in each of our kiddos lives. We aim to help them any way we can, whether that be a hug, tough love, new knowledge, or some lotion for their dry skin. Yes, I love your kids as much as you do despite only seeing them for 30 minutes. Yes, I spend too many hours worrying about the safety of your kiddos. Yes, my weekends are filled with lesson plans and entering grades.

So yes, I am a teacher.

Nuun

Inaugural things I love post! I’m going to give this to an OG of my hydration…Nuun! It’s a little tablet you drop into your water that’s packed with electrolytes and tasty flavors. Low sugar. No added nasties. They recently started making an immunity version that has some immune boosting properties to keep the ick away. My favorite flavors are tropical and strawberry lemon! If you want some extra flavor, drop it in a fizzy water (ie: Waterloo or LaCroix).

I’ve heard they are also tasty if you mix them with rum ;). f8ddf7cd-0528-49d4-927c-9a05695b9a1c